In light of Valentine’s Day, love, dating, and relationships are on everyone’s minds. Contrary to what you might believe, guys and gals with celiac disease make great lovers…well lovers may not be the right way to frame it. How about companions? Yeah, much better, let’s go with that.
You see, us celiacs have a lot redeeming qualities — more than the average joe/jane. I never really thought about it, until it was brought to my attention by a friend when we went to brunch, she made a comment that inspired me to write this piece.
So here goes nothing…
1. We Make Great Brunch Dates
I’ll start with my friend’s remark that I started to reference above. She informed me that I always make the best brunch date, because I can never eat my sides when we go out for breakfast. Therefore, she and/or any of the people I dine with always get an extra side free of charge.
That’s right, reason #1 why celiacs are great dates is that we come with free sides of toast and pancakes. This perk alone makes us a favorite at brunches, and if you live in the city like me, or are a millennial, you know how clutch this is. Brunch is life for us.
2. We Always Have Snacks
Reason number 2? Our snacks. Yes, celiacs are the equivalents to moms when you look at our snack game. Let’s be real. We never know what the food situation is going to look like, so we always are prepared. For example, every day I always pack an extra protein bar and a piece of fruit in my bag when I go to work. On the weekends, I usually carry around gluten free pretzels. In all honesty, if I’m out and about and I have a purse, I likely have some form of food on hand.
3. We’re Lightweights
Hear me out. Guy takes girl out for drinks or you and your date are at the bar meeting friends. Better yet, you are out watching the big game. Most human beings opt for beer, because its cheap, however, those who drink this glutenous beverage know it takes longer to catch a buzz. However, if you’re a celiac, you have to go for the hard stuff…meaning rather than your date buying you 10 drinks, he/she can get you 2 and you’re beyond buzzed.
Moral of the story. You’re saving him money, and likely a bit more fun, since you’ve loosened up with that buzz you’ve got working in your favor. 🙂
4. We Can Cook
Having an autoimmune disease, like celiac disease, forces you to at least know the basics when it comes to cooking. When you have to learn to read labels and know what’s in your food, you naturally learn how to prepare it.
The Washington Post wrote a piece last year, about the death of the home-cooked meal. Did you know less than 60% of suppers served at home were actually made in their homes? These days people prefer convenience. Millennials apparently also don’t like to do the dishes, so they keep their cooking to a minimum.
Who wouldn’t want a companion who will make you dinner and clean up afterwards, too? Am I right??
5. We Don’t Have Issues With Awkward Conversations Regarding Bowel Movements
There’s an episode on Sex and the City, where Carrie farts in front of Big and she’s mortified. The girls go on to discuss how men and women don’t disclose their bowel movements. But let’s face it, it’s inevitable. At some point in time, this fact will become reality, and it will happen to you. There’s a time when you get comfortable and it just happens.
Funny thing is that those with celiac disease have no filter when it comes to this topic of conversation. Nothing phases us. So no need to feel awkward and uncomfortable like Carrie did after “the fart”. Celiacs don’t care. Let’s be real, with all the digestive issues we’ve dealt with in our lifetimes, we have seen it all.
6. You Can Have The Whole Bread Basket.
The first date. Oftentimes, you’re still getting to know one another and you don’t want to come off like a total psycho addressing all of the foods you can and cannot eat. Don’t get me wrong, it comes up, but you keep it to a minimum, because it’s information overload.
That being said, the first few dates, we, celiacs, make great dinner dates (on top of being the perfect brunch date of course). The main reason for this, is that, we won’t touch the bread bowl. Your date gets the whole thing to him/herself. No having to fight over the last roll in the basket? Your date can have his(her) breadstick, and eat it too.
7. You Can Write Us Off On Your Taxes
Say you’re lucky enough to not only date us, but you actually take the plunge and say “I do” to gluten free guy/gal, you can write us off on your taxes. Since we spend more on food items, like flours/breads/pasta/etc. the Federal government throws us a bone. Exciting right! We’re good for everyone’s wallets (well in the long run).
Think of any additional reasons why celiacs make great mates? Let me know! I’m sure you’ll have as much fun conjuring up ideas, as I did writing this post.